"The mark of an immature man is that he would die knobly for a cause. The mark of a mature man is that he would live humbly for one" - Catcher in the Rye -WARNING WRITER SPELLING CHALLENGED! But Sometimes you have to say "what the fuck!"

Saturday, August 23, 2008

The Bitch

Repost from 8/23/04

Im One Bad Ass Bitch!
Okay I admit it. Vader is one fucking bitch. This is the name I have heard for myself for most of my life; from my step-dad to my husband, to every fucker who has ever been pissed off at me. I accept this title and wear it like a fancy jewled tiara. I am loud, lewd, obnoxious, rude, tough as shit, no nonsense, driven, opinionated, mouthy, sassy, roxy, sexually powerful, assertive, intelligent, unique, independent and damn ass in your face flirtatious as hell. I am trouble with a capital T, and a hellraiser straight out of Wes Craven’s worst nightmare. I’m no angel, I’m no saint. I’m me. Vader conforms to no one's standards... but my own. I consider the word bitch the ultimate compliment. I don’t want to be some whinny, needy, sexually repressed, catty, backstabbing, money grubbing, submissive and dependant broad. I’m a strong warrior goddess. I’m punk as fuck and proud to be a Digital Underground style freak. Like Easy Mutherfuckin E I kick so much butt... I kick ass!
This is how I have survived….

Let me say one more thing.... I love men.... they are the yin to my yang. Being a Bitch does not mean that you hate men, or fear them, or anything feminatzi like that.

This crazy ass chick just accepts the fact that I am a BITCH. This is my destiny.... this is VADERGRRRL.

Bitchy adj : having the threatening characteristics of a female canine (a wolf, dingo, coyote, wild dog, fox) applied esp. to a woman who is active, direct, blunt, obnoxious, competent, loud-mouthed, independent, stubborn, demanding, achieving, overwhelming, Lusty, strong-minded, scary, ambitious, tough, brassy, boisterous, turbulent, sprawling, strident, striding, and large (physically and/or psychically).

(n.) The female of the canine kind, as of the dog, wolf, and fox.
(n.) An opprobrious name for a woman, especially a lewd woman.


stolen off the web by ambrozia
When I stand up for myself and what I believe in, people call me a bitch. When I stand up for the ones I love, they call me a bitch. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my way, they call me a bitch. When I don't take crap from people and make sure I get what I want, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch entails being a person with solid sense of personal and social responsibility. I am not afraid to stand up for what I believe in and love and respect myself for the beautiful person I am.

Being a bitch means that I am free to be the wonderful creature that I am, with all my intricacies, contradictions, quirks and beauty.

Being a bitch means I will not compromise what's in my heart. It means I live life MY way. It means I won't let anyone stomp on me. When I speak up against injustice, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's doormat or when I act in the best interest for myself. Am I being selfish? I think not.

I am proud to be a bitch! It means that I have the strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I should be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and thee is NOTHING wrong with that.

So try and stop me, try to douse my spark. You won't succeed and if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

"I shall stomp on all those who oppose me. The stomping shall be swift, the stomping shall be painful, and I shall show no mercy in all my stomping. Amen. " - Lunch Money by Atlas Games

Excerpts from The BITCH Manifesto
by Joreen

Bitches are aggressive, assertive, domineering, overbearing, strong-minded, spiteful, hostile, direct, blunt, candid, obnoxious, thick-skinned, hard-headed, vicious, dogmatic, competent, competitive, pushey, loud-mouthed, independent, stubborn, demanding, manipulative, egoistic, driven, achieving, overwhelming, threatning, scarey, ambitious, tough, brassy, masculine, boisterous, and turbulent. Among other things . A Bitch occupies a lot of psychological space. You always know she is around. A Bitch takes shit from no one. You may not like her, but you cannot ignore her.

Only with other Bitches can a Bitch be truly free.

Okay yeah.... so my women studies roots are showing here a little. lol.

My Way... *with a slight vader slant*
And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I’ll say it clear,
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain.

I’ve lived a life that’s full.
I’ve traveled each and ev’ry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I’ve had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried.
I’ve had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a grrrl, what has she got?
If not herself, then she has naught.
To say the things she truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

My Crazy Ass Love Affair with Star Wars.....

Repost from 8/19/04

A long time ago
In a galaxy far, far away…

Star Wars Childhood
The essence of my childhood seemed tied to one movie, well three; Star Wars, Return of the Jedi, and the Empire Strikes Back. My teenage years became Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but those adventures I will save for another post.

Childhood Escape
I was born in 1970, Star Wars came out in 1977, I was… well you do the math. This was the same year my parents divorced, a difficult time for a child. Especially when your beloved daddy leaves, and you want to pack up and leave with him, but tells you he cant take you. Star Wars provided an escape for me for very difficult times. I still remember watching it in the theater. Theaters in the 70’s and early 80’s were not like the fast food style kind they are today. They had big flashing lit signs, velvety deep red curtains that opened in the beginning of the movie, and balcony seating. The movie experience seemed so much more magical, so much more of an escape. It may have been the last movie that we went to see as a family before the divorce. I’m not sure, but for some reason, it reminds me of life before the broken glass.

Star Wars.... ah... the PERFECT Movie
Watching Star Wars on the big screen, I so fell in love with the movie. I had never seen anything like it. It is and always will be the perfect movie to me. Darth Vader, this mysterious and powerful force comes blazing out of a smoke filled battle, killing people with his fist and the dark force. Luke Skywalker, this goofy farm boy, who would save the rebellion. Princess Leia, the sharp shooter with the sharper tongue. The handsome rouge scoundrel Han Solo (my favorite) and his sidekick Chewbacca. I found each character amazing and full of life. I wanted to live on Tatoine, escape my life, and fight with the rebellion. There is a class photograph of me in the 2nd grade, holding the classroom sign and proudly wearing Star Wars T-shirt. Yes, I was a geek even then.

Geek Out Star Wars Nerd
I still get teary eyed when I watch Star Wars, my heart races in scenes I have watched a hundred times. It’s always a new thrill and sometimes just the cheap therapy I need. My favorite parts (though it’s hard to pick favorites) include the Cantina scene, the duel between Darth Vader and Obi Wan, and then the destruction of the Death Star. I especially love when Darth Vader is on Lukes tail, R2-D2 is hit, all seems doomed and you hear a blast. “What!” yells Darth Vader as he has been hit. Then the film cuts to cowboy white trash Han Solo as he screams “Yee-Haw” and saves the day. Though I don’t believe in marriage, or at least I say that now that I am divorced, I always insist that if I ever DO get married again it will be in theme with the awards ceremony at the end of Star Wars. Ya know, when they play that amazing march song, and Leia is all dressed in the beautiful white gown, and Luke, Han and Chewbacca march down the aisle to receive their medals. Yes, that is it. I think that would make a perfect wedding. That is my geeky fantasy. Lol

Strike Back Time
In 1980 when Empire Strikes Back came out I was ten. I can remember waiting in line to watch the movie, this time alone with my friends. We were so excited, as we had been counting the days for the opening. Here we learn that Darth Vader is Luke’s father, a major cinematic twist. The sexual tension between Leia and Han culminates in one of my favorite love lines;
Princess Leia Organa: I love you.
Han Solo: I know.

This movie also introduces the cult classic character Bobba Fett. Everybody loved Boba Fett, including me. I also started avidly collecting action figures and trading cards. This passion I have to this day, another reason I am very geeky. Empire Strikes Back really has no ending, it leaves you hanging for the next movie. Which was very, very difficult for a 10-year-old kid. “What happens to Han Solo? “ was the talk among the bike ridding circle in my neighborhood. We also wondered about Luke and Darth Vader. Was he really his father? Or did he just say that? We spent hours debating and philosophizing over this. Yes, we were quite obsessed.

Return of the Star Wars Nerd
I was 13 when Return of the Jedi came out, and really able to notice how cute Han looked in those tight pants. Yowza! Though I was too old to appreciate the Ewoks, I loved this movie all the same. This film also had my most memorable and emotion provoking scene. You know when you are watching a movie and you get so into it that you leap to your feet and start screaming? This is the one and only movie that has ever done that for me. Popcorn flying all over the place, the crowd was on its feet, it was power I have never again experienced, besides at a rock concert. I’m sure you all know what scene that was. The moment when the camera pans from Darth Vaders helmet, then sharply cuts to the Emporer and his eyeballs acting all crazy and zapping Luke with beams shooting from his fingers. The film cuts back and forth, between these images and so much emotion is shown in Darth Vaders helmet. Its amazing, you can almost see him turning good. Darth Vader gets up and throws the Emporer down some space hole. That was it. That was movie history. That was the most exciting moment I have ever experienced in film history. That scene makes me crazy to this day. Leia also had a great comeback line in this movie.
Han Solo: I love you.
Princess Leia Organa: I know.
Ahhhh sweet revenge.

My Discovery of Wedge
Once the movies came out on video in the later part of the 80’s I snatched them up and would watch them over, and over. Through watching them on video I learned of great characters I had missed on the big screen. One of those characters was Wedge Antilles. Wedge was in all three Star Wars movies, and was a major player in the Rebel Alliance. Wedge was one of the only fighters to survive the Death Star battle in Star Wars. (his X-wing was injured and he had to fly away). Wedge returned for many great scenes in the battle of Hoth. Wedge further stole the show in Return of the Jedi and basically was the one responsible for blowing up the second Death Star. Wedge is my hero, and I think he desperately deserves to get laid for his heroic actions.

Collecting my Ass Off
In my later life I have become an obsessed Star Wars memorabilia collector. I have quite an impressive collection, actually one of the most valuable things I own. I have star wars curtains, clothing, posters, 12 inch figures, die cast figures, action figures, vehicles and scenes. My house is decorated like a museum dedicated to my Star Wars treasures. My most prized scene is my Jabba the Hut’s lair. Jabba sits on a throne like thang and smokes out of a hookah. I have Leia in bondage gear chained up to him, with salicius crumb, and Jabba’s other assortment of characters. I added to the scene all of the bounty hunters. You name it, I have it; Bosk, IG-88, BobaFett, Dengar, etc. I even threw Darth Maul in the scene as well as a Cylon from Battlestar Gallactica. I know, most of you think this is geeky as hell, but I love it and it makes me so, so happy. This is my escape.

I will end my Geek post with some of my favorite lines from the trilogy. Enjoy and may the force (dark side) be with you.

**This post is dedicated to my luv bunny Jack. Thanks for always checking in on me. Your support and kind words mean sooooooo much. SMOOCH

Obi-wan Kenobi: Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

Han Solo: Wonderful girl! Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her

Han Solo: Damn fool, I knew you were going to say that.
Obi-wan Kenobi: Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him?

Darth Vader: The ciricle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master.
Darth Vader: Your powers are weak, old man.
Ben (Obi-wan) Kenobi: You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

[X-wings are approaching Death Star.]
Wedge Antilles (Red 2): Look at the size of that thing.
Red Leader: Cut the chatter, Red 2.

Leia: Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder!
Han Solo: Who's scruffy-looking?

Luke Skywalker: Alright, I'll give it a try.
Yoda: No! Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try.

Darth Vader: Impressive. Most impressive. Obi-wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear. Now, release your anger! Only your hatred can destroy me!

Darth Vader: There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you. [pauses] Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.
Luke Skywalker: I'll never join you!
Darth Vader: If you only knew the *power* of the dark side. Obi-wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke Skywalker: He told me enough! He told me *you* killed him.
Darth Vader: No. *I* am your father.

Darth Vader: There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds the Millennium Falcon. You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want them alive. No disintegrations.
Boba Fett: As you wish.

Emperor Palpatine: Take your Jedi weapon! Use it. Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!

Darth Vader: Your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister! So. You have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the dark side, then perhaps she will.
Luke: No!

Darth Vader: Luke, help me take this mask off.
Luke: But you'll die.
Darth Vader: Nothing can stop that now. Just for once, let me look on you with my own eyes.

Darth Vader: The Emperor has been expecting you.
Luke Skywalker: I know, father.
Darth Vader: So, you have accepted the truth.
Luke Skywalker: I've accepted the truth that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father.
Darth Vader: That name no longer has any meaning for me!
Luke Skywalker: It is the name of your true self, you've only forgotten. I know there is good in you, the Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully. That was why you couldn't destroy me, that's why you won't bring me to your emperor now.
Darth Vader: I see you have constructed a new lightsaber. Your skills are complete, indeed you are powerful as the emperor has foreseen.
Luke Skywalker: Come with me.
Darth Vader: Obi-Wan once thought as you do. You don't know the *power* of the Dark Side, I *must* obey my master.
Luke Skywalker: I will not turn, and you'll be forced to kill me.
Darth Vader: If that is your destiny.
Luke Skywalker: Search your feelings, Father, you can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.
Darth Vader: It is too late for me son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now.
Luke: Then my father is truly dead.

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