"The mark of an immature man is that he would die knobly for a cause. The mark of a mature man is that he would live humbly for one" - Catcher in the Rye -WARNING WRITER SPELLING CHALLENGED! But Sometimes you have to say "what the fuck!"

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Jello for President 2004

Vader has tried and tried to avoid a political post, but I think its about time. So here goes….

Blame it on "the Family"
I grew up in a total Democratic household, my parents are the bourgeoisie college professor types, who like to host dinner parties and talk politics. Every year, my mother would volunteer at the Democratic table at our County Fair and parade my brother and I in “vote so and so” shirts. Hell, she even sent me door to door passing out fliers. Politics were par for the course in my house. Elitist, educated ways of thinking was how I was raised. My mom would say “they are too ignorant, they don’t know any better, that is why they voted for Reagan”. All I knew was that I liked Reagan’s flashy smile and was enchanted by the way he talked.

Navy Wives causing Hell at Republican HQ
I was a navy wife when Bush I was elected president. I had no real feelings one way or the other, though I did vote for Dukakis (my first presidential election I could vote in). When Clinton ran for president, I fell in love. When he played the sax on the Arsenio Hall show that was it for me. He was the man I wanted to see as president. I thought Clinton was sexy as hell, and he spoke to me like no other candidate ever has, or will again. When he won I remember jumping in my car with my son and another military wife friend of mine and roaming the streets screaming like rabid fans. We did several drive bys’ past the Republican headquarters in San Diego. I guess as we were driving by screaming “Ha Ha” as Bush I was giving his loser speech. Our screaming and taunting was not well received by some of the volunteers at the office, and they ran out the door to tell us off. We split quick, laughing and giggling the whole way home.

Same Shit Again
The thing was, I never saw much change. Clinton was president and I was still poor. I had no dental insurance, no health insurance, I couldn’t pay my bills and get out of debt. It all seemed like the same old shizat. When Clinton ran against Bob Dole, I had just graduated from UC Berkeley. I was in over my head from student loans and other college expenses. I still voted for Clinton, but this time was less enthusiastic by his victory. I will never forget an episode of the Simpson’s where two aliens kidnap Bob Dole and Clinton and then hold a mock election. The aliens laugh "it doesn’t matter who you vote for… were both the same”. This message hit me hard.

Jello my Love
Then I discovered Jello Biafra. Living in Berkeley, I used to attend punk shows at a collective known as 924 Gilman. This is an all ages music collective that sprouted a lot of punk rock bands including the Dead Kennedys. By the time I hit the scene, the Dead Kennedys were already considered rock stars, and barred from ever playing a punk show again. However, I rediscovered DK and the message that Jello Biafra promoted. Jello Biafra stood for political change and defiance of popular culture brainwashing.

Some really cool DK lyrics

Anarcy for Sale
Step right up folks Anarchy for sale! T-shirts only 10 dollars Badges only 3.50 I nicked the design, never asked the band I never listen to them either Buy Buy Buy from Circle A Like hula hoops, it's a disposable craze Another fast-food fad to throw away Get your Anarchy For Sale Anarchy For Sale Anarchy For Sale

Hellnation's when they teach us Profiting from greed Hellnation's what they give us Coke, heroin & speed Hellnation's when they tell you You gotta go clean up your act You're the one who dragged me here And now you drag me back To this Hellnation [Chorus] Problem is, few care About the people in despair If you help no one You're guilty in the Hellnation Hellnation's when the president Asks for four more fucking years Hellnation's when he gets it By conning poor people and peers Hellnation-got no choice What's the point of trying to vote? When this country makes war We all die in the same boat In this Hellnation [Chorus] It's the only world we've got Let's protect it while we can It's all there is and there ain't no more Hellnation-asking please For a nuclear freeze So the unborn kids Get their chance to live and breathe Hellnation asking aid For the minimum wage So the kids of tomorrow Don't wind up slaves to their trade In the Hellnation

Jello for Prez... Alternative Nation Baby!
After the Dead Kennedys stopped playing music, Jello Biafra became a political activist. I met Jello, at a political tour (if you watch any of my PotTV archives you can see it). I must say, I was star struck and in love. This man I would vote for President.

Anarchy in the USA
I must admit that I didnt vote in the last election. I wanted to vote for Jello, but when Ralph Nader won the for the Green Party, I felt a loss. I would have voted for the Green Party or the Libertarian Party, but in our fucking stupid ass two party system, what would that have done? My vote would have been thrown away. Plus, with the electoral college, I basically voted for Gore anyway. (Washington State went for Gore). I just find the two party political system so disenfranchising. It really doesnt matter who you vote for, its how your state votes. I just think that really fucking SUCKS!

Here is some information on Jello.

Here is some information I stole off a website that provides some political insight on Jello. Yes, the man never ceases to amaze me. My vote for president will be and will always be Jello Biafra… or the Yippster Pig.

Jello Biafra (real name: Eric Boucher; born June 17, 1958, Boulder, Colorado) was the lead singer for the Dead Kennedys, a punk rock band.
Biafra has used absurdist media tactics in the tradition of the Yippies to highlight issues of civil rights, social justice, and anti-corporatism.
In 1979 he ran for mayor of San Francisco using the slogan borrowed from a Jello ad campaign, "There's always room for Jello". His platform included ridiculous points such as forcing businessmen to wear clown suits. (Jello has said he is irritated that this part of his platform attained such notoriety, preferring to be remembered for proposals such as legalizing squatting in buildings left vacant for tax purposes.) He finished fourth out of 10, gaining 3.5% of the vote, and the election was resolved in a runoff that did not involve him. Also in 1979 Jello formed the record label Alternative Tentacles.

Biafra was a swift critic of the Parents Music Resource Center, and has constantly criticised co-founder Tipper Gore.

In 1985, Biafra was brought to trial in San Francisco for distributing "harmful matter" in the Dead Kennedys album Frankenchrist. The jury was deadlocked, the judge declared a mistrial and ordered the charges dropped. The band broke up during the trial, but Biafra has since become a renowned "Spoken Word" artist, and an icon for anti-censorship groups.

He has released several spoken-word albums, including No More Cocoons, and is the lead singer of the band Lard, which has released several albums (The Power of Lard, The Last Temptation of Reid, Pure Chewing Satisfaction, and more).

He coined the slogan "Don't hate the media, become the media". Indymedia and related alternative media often use this line, or the now more apt "Don't hate the media, be the media".

In the year 2000, Biafra was drafted as a candidate for the Green Party presidential nomination, and a few supporters were elected to the party's nominating convention in Denver, Colorado. However, Ralph Nader was overwhelmingly chosen as the party's candidate.

Of note: Biafra was the name of a country which attempted to secede from Nigeria in 1966. After 4 years of fighting, and horrific starvation, Nigeria regained control of the nascent Biafran state. Jello Biafra came up with his name as a combination of a violent civil war and a consumer product.

Jello was featured and has spoken at many of the H.O.P.E. confrences (audio is freely available of these apearances)

He also appeared on-screen in "Bikini Bandits" (2002), alongside other musicians such as Maynard James Keenan of Tool and Dee Dee Ramone of The Ramones.
In 1999 Jello Biafra formed the short lived band The No WTO Combo

Some information on Yippies. The political party I most identify with. Working for High Times I have met and got to know a lot of old school Yippies. I must say, I wish alternative parties had a chance in our system.

The Youth International Party (whose adherents were known as Yippies, a variant on "Hippies") was a highly theatrical political party established in the United States in 1967. An offshoot of the free speech and anti-war movements of the 1960s, Yippies presented a youth-oriented countercultural alternative to the straightlaced earnestness often associated with representatives of those movements. They employed media-savvy gestures— such as advancing a pig ("Pigasus the Immortal") as candidate for President in 1968— to mock the social status quo.
The Yippies had no formal membership or hierarchy: Abbie Hoffman, Anita Hoffman, and Paul Krassner were among the founders of the Yippies (according to his own account, Krassner coined the name). Other activists associated with the Yippies include Jerry Rubin, Stewart Alpert, Dick Gregory, and Ed Sanders.
Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin became the most famous Yippies—and bestselling authors—in part due to publicity surrounding the five-month Chicago Seven Conspiracy trial of 1969. Hoffman and Rubin were arguably the most colorful of the seven defendents accused of criminal conspiracy and inciting to riot at the 1968 Democratic National Convention. Hoffman and Rubin used the trial as a platform for Yippie antics--at one point, they showed up in court attired in judicial robes.
A YIP-related newspaper, "The Yipster Times" was published in New York City from 1968 through 1977.

Punk as FUCK for life baby


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