"The mark of an immature man is that he would die knobly for a cause. The mark of a mature man is that he would live humbly for one" - Catcher in the Rye -WARNING WRITER SPELLING CHALLENGED! But Sometimes you have to say "what the fuck!"

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Taking one for the Troops Vadergrrrl Style....xxxxooooo

Vadergrrrl Politics
With all the talk of presidential elections and other political spew, I decided to dedicate a post to my personal politics. Being somewhat anti-politics at the moment, I have found my own way to support our country…. Supporting our troops! This is a cause I care deeply about, with my brother just returning from Iraq, and my currently living in a MAJOR naval town. Since my recent break up, Ive taken a couple for the troups and enjoyed every minute of it. MMMMMM young sailors and G.I’s….. humana humana

Bremerton Sluts…. Keep on Keepin On!
I was listening to an interview the other morning about the soldiers in Iraq, and the military in general. These men/women make a commitment for our freedom, put their lives potentially on the line for us! At the end of the interview, the DJ said “Lets support our troops….. Bremerton sluts, keep on keeping on!” Being as Im from Bremerton, and at times a freaky slut, I though gee, this is a message for me!

Support Our Troops!
We have soldier dying every day in Iraq, and not only that, soldiers whose lives are on hold while they serve our country. These men/women deserve our support! What is the best way to support them? Fuck their brains out, provide blow jobs, or if they are currently serving overseas… cybersex the hell out of them!

Take One For the Country baby!
Here is a website I found for an organization of horney gals willing to take one for the troops. Its called take one for our country.
Take for the Country
Mission Statement: To discretely provide US troops shipping out overseas with the most sensually pleasing departure possible.

About US: 'Operation Take One For The Country' (abbreviated OTOFTC) is a movement of like-minded women (women predominantly as of right now) who have covertly organized into groups to frequent eating and drinking establishments near armed service bases where troops are preparing to ship out overseas, and take one for the country, so to speak. We are a virtual organization and have no official headquarters or charter. We believe US service men and women deserve our support and we are willing to make caring choices about making them happy.

MMMMM a Man in Uniform!
There is nothing sexier than a man in uniform, especially ones filled with testosterone and pent up sexual frustration. On major naval ships, and overseas, soldiers are provided computers with computer access. We can email them, instant message them, and with webcams do a lot more. I admit, I cybersexed some lonely GI in Iraq and it was quite fun. Especially because I can be such a dirty girl, I think he was pleasantly shocked by my vivid imagination. This particular soldier had a webcam (I do not) and kept flashing his happiness to the camera. This was particularly amusing since there is like a pod of 20 computers lined up for soldier use, and he was definitely not alone and truly able to expose himself. LOL

Dip me in honey, strip me nekkid and throw me on the flight deck….. Im ready boys!

Here is a sexy hottie (very far left with the bedroom eyes and nice lips), who I met online and who is leaving in October for Iraq. Poor sweetie… He definitely deserves LOTS of blow jobs before he leaves… LOL.

Here is my soldier pen pal who is currently in Iraq. He is a pilot, and this is a photo of him doing laundry. I haven’t heard from this guy in a while, which worries me…..

-Another sexy cowboy GI. Whoot whoo….. yes this one deserves a good spankin and then some hot and wild lovin! YEE HAW!
-Here is a Haiku for you (written by Cooter)
You need a spankin'
with a Star Wars figurine,
you Texas cowboy.

Military Friends
A good way to meet military guys is to go to the website MilitaryFriends.com linked here.
You can sign up for free and locate military penpals/cybersexpals all over the world.
Here is another military singles site US Military Singles
Here is another link to a site that provides military pen pals
Support Our Troups

Call to Arms!
Come on all you horney grrrls, you want to get freaky on the internet? You want to support our Country and Our Freedom? Find yourself a military hero, and treat that man GOOD!

-Thank you Demon Queen for your help with this post! Luv ya!

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Monday, July 12, 2004

oh shit! Yoda on the scene A 900 year being Smokin Dagobah weed! Star Wars Gangsta Rap!

For all you Vader Haters… here is some funny ass schizzel… BIATCH!

Its not the east side, or the west side, its not the north side or the south side, IT’S THE DARK SIDE
To all you Vader Haters, we’ll blow up your planet!

From the
Reconstructing the Death Star,
With my slick ass suit
That’s as dark as tar
Fuckin you up no matter who you are

Star Wars Gangsta Rap
Check this link out for some funny ass shit!
This animated rap is from Thomas Lee, Bentframe Productions. Highlights include a hillbilly Uncle Owen, and a redneck wimpy ass Luke who drinks gin and tonic in his X-wing and calls Yoda a “playa hater”

Star Wars Gangsta Rap 2
This is even better than the first, just dirtier and nastier in a effigy to gangsta rap.

Highlights include
A weed smokin Yoda who says
“oh shit
Yoda on the scene
A 900 year being
Smokin Dagobah weed”

C3PO wearing a shirt that says
“straight looking’ rapping about being a “gay man’s dream”

Han telling Jabba the Hut off by rappin
you fat ass slug
with your fake ass chains
you’re a sorry ass thug”

And my favorite line coming from the smothe rouge scoundrel Lando C
Who says to Luke
“Your just jealous cuz my black dicks bigger!”

In the end Jar Jar bigs scores with Leiah wearing a Malcom X hat…. This is some funny ass shit.

This post is dedicated to my G-Homey Justin

(*Shit bitch, I needed some humor after my sorry ass crazy grrrl rant…. Thanks to all who offered their support…. And may the FARCE be with you)


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Sunday, July 11, 2004

Much Madness is divinest Sense - VADERGRRRL POETRY SLAM

Time for Vadergrrrl’s Poetry Slam. Get out your cigarettes, black beanies, cheap drinks and other pleasures. Its late, and my brain is fried so I decided to create a poetry slam. There should be a poem here for everyone, so enjoy…..Im including a few of my own, plus a surprise poet Im dying to see if anyone can guess.

Carpe Diem

O mistress mine, where are you roaming?
O stay and hear! your true-love's coming
That can sing both high and low;
Trip no further, pretty sweeting,
Journey's end in lovers' meeting--
Every wise man's son doth know.
What is love? 'tis not hereafter;
Present mirth hath present laughter;
What's to come is still unsure:
In delay there lies no plenty,--
Then come kiss me, Sweet and twenty,
Youth's a stuff will not endure.

William Shakespeare

Light-winged smoke, Icarian bird,
Melting thy pinions in thy upward flight,
Lark without song, and messenger of dawn,
Circling above the hamlets as thy nest;
Or else, departing dream, and shadowy form
Of midnight vision, gathering up thy skirts;
By night star-veiling, and by day
Darkening the light blotting out the sun;
Go thou my incense upward from this hearth,
And ask the Gods to pardon this clear flame
Henry David Thoreau

FROM childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then - in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life - was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

Edgar Allan Poe

A Dream Within A Dream
TAKE this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow --
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if Hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand --
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep -- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream
Edgar Allan Poe

Again And Again And Again
You said the anger would come back just as the love did. I have a black look I do not like. It is a mask I try on. I migrate toward it and its frog sits on my lips and defecates. It is old. It is also a pauper. I have tried to keep it on a diet. I give it no unction. There is a good look that I wear like a blood clot. I have sewn it over my left breast. I have made a vocation of it. Lust has taken plant in it and I have placed you and your child at its milk tip. Oh the blackness is murderous and the milk tip is brimming and each machine is working and I will kiss you when I cut up one dozen new men and you will die somewhat, again and again
Anne sexton

A Birthday Present
What is this, behind this veil, is it ugly, is it beautiful?
It is shimmering, has it breasts, has it edges?

I am sure it is unique, I am sure it is what I want.
When I am quiet at my cooking I feel it looking, I feel it thinking

'Is this the one I am too appear for,
Is this the elect one, the one with black eye-pits and a scar?

Measuring the flour, cutting off the surplus,
Adhering to rules, to rules, to rules.

Is this the one for the annunciation?
My god, what a laugh!'

But it shimmers, it does not stop, and I think it wants me.
I would not mind if it were bones, or a pearl button.

I do not want much of a present, anyway, this year.
After all I am alive only by accident.

I would have killed myself gladly that time any possible way.
Now there are these veils, shimmering like curtains,

The diaphanous satins of a January window
White as babies' bedding and glittering with dead breath. O ivory!

It must be a tusk there, a ghost column.
Can you not see I do not mind what it is.

Can you not give it to me?
Do not be ashamed--I do not mind if it is small.

Do not be mean, I am ready for enormity.
Let us sit down to it, one on either side, admiring the gleam,

The glaze, the mirrory variety of it.
Let us eat our last supper at it, like a hospital plate.

I know why you will not give it to me,
You are terrified

The world will go up in a shriek, and your head with it,
Bossed, brazen, an antique shield,

A marvel to your great-grandchildren.
Do not be afraid, it is not so.

I will only take it and go aside quietly.
You will not even hear me opening it, no paper crackle,

No falling ribbons, no scream at the end.
I do not think you credit me with this discretion.

If you only knew how the veils were killing my days.
To you they are only transparencies, clear air.

But my god, the clouds are like cotton.
Armies of them. They are carbon monoxide.

Sweetly, sweetly I breathe in,
Filling my veins with invisibles, with the million

Probable motes that tick the years off my life.
You are silver-suited for the occasion. O adding machine-----

Is it impossible for you to let something go and have it go whole?
Must you stamp each piece purple,

Must you kill what you can?
There is one thing I want today, and only you can give it to me.

It stands at my window, big as the sky.
It breathes from my sheets, the cold dead center

Where split lives congeal and stiffen to history.
Let it not come by the mail, finger by finger.

Let it not come by word of mouth, I should be sixty
By the time the whole of it was delivered, and to numb to use it.

Only let down the veil, the veil, the veil.
If it were death

I would admire the deep gravity of it, its timeless eyes.
I would know you were serious.

There would be a nobility then, there would be a birthday.
And the knife not carve, but enter

Pure and clean as the cry of a baby,
And the universe slide from my side.

Sylvia Plath

A Fairly Sad Tale
I think that I shall never know
Why I am thus, and I am so.
Around me, other girls inspire
In men the rush and roar of fire,
The sweet transparency of glass,
The tenderness of April grass,
The durability of granite;
But me- I don't know how to plan it.
The lads I've met in Cupid's deadlock
Were- shall we say?- born out of wedlock.
They broke my heart, they stilled my song,
And said they had to run along,
Explaining, so to sop my tears,
First came their parents or careers.
But ever does experience
Deny me wisdom, calm, and sense!
Though she's a fool who seeks to capture
The twenty-first fine, careless rapture,
I must go on, till ends my rope,
Who from my birth was cursed with hope.
A heart in half is chaste, archaic;
But mine resembles a mosaic-
The thing's become ridiculous!
Why am I so? Why am I thus?

Dorothy Parker

Sex Without Love

How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other's bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health--just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time
Sharon Olds

General Review Of The Sex Situation
Woman wants monogamy;
Man delights in novelty.
Love is woman's moon and sun;
Man has other forms of fun.
Woman lives but in her lord;
Count to ten, and man is bored.
With this the gist and sum of it,
What earthly good can come of it?

Dorothy Parker

And Death Shall Have No Dominion
And death shall have no dominion.
Dead mean naked they shall be one
With the man in the wind and the west moon;
When their bones are picked clean and the clen bones gone,
They shall have stars at elbow and foot;
Though they go mad they shall be sane,
Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;
Though lovers be lost love shall not;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
Under the windings of the sea
They lying long shall not die windily;
Twisting on racks when sinews give way,
Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;
Faith in their hands shall snap in two,
And the unicorn evils run them through;
Split all ends up they shan't crack;
And death shall have no dominion.

And death shall have no dominion.
No more may gulls cry at their ears
Or waves break loud on the seashores;
Where blew a flower may a flower no more
Lift its head to the blows of the rain;
Through they be mad and dead as nails,
Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;
Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,
And death shall have no dominion.

Dylan Thomas

Fuck Me
I'm all screwed up so

and take out the garbage
feed the cat and FUCK ME
you can do it, I know you can.

and theorize about
Sado Masochism's relationship
to classical philosophy
tell me how this stimulates
the fabric of most human relationships,
I love that kind of pointless intellectualism
so do it again and

Stop being logical
stop contemplating
the origins of evil
and the beauty of death
this is not a TV movie about Plato sex life,
this is FUCK ME

It's the pause that refreshes
just add water and

I wrote this
so I'd have a good excuse to say "FUCK ME"
over and over
and over
so I could get a lot of attention
and look, it worked!
So thank you
thank you
and fuck ME.

Maggie Estep

Crazy Jane On God
That lover of a night
Came when he would,
Went in the dawning light
Whether I would or no;
Men come, men go;
All things remain in God.

Banners choke the sky;
Men-at-arms tread;
Armoured horses neigh
In the narrow pass:
All things remain in God.

Before their eyes a house
That from childhood stood
Uninhabited, ruinous,
Suddenly lit up
From door to top:
All things remain in God.

I had wild Jack for a lover;
Though like a road
That men pass over
My body makes no moan
But sings on:
All things remain in God.

William Butler Yeats

Much Madness is divinest Sense
Much Madness is divinest Sense -
To a discerning Eye -
Much Sense - the starkest Madness -
`Tis the Majority
In this, as All, prevail -
Assent - and you are sane -
Demur - you`re straightaway dangerous -
And handled with a Chain -

Emily Dickinson

is the total black, being spoken
from the earth's inside.
There are many kinds of open
how a diamond comes into a knot of flame
how sound comes into a word, colored
by who pays what for speaking.

Some words are open like a diamond
on glass windows
singing out within the passing crash of sun
Then there are words like stapled wagers
in a perforated book--buy and sign and tear apart--
and come whatever wills all chances
the stub remains
an ill-pulled tooth with a ragged edge.
Some words live in my throat
breeding like adders. Others know sun
seeking like gypsies over my tongue
to explode through my lips
like young sparrows bursting from shell.
Some words
bedevil me.

Love is a word, another kind of open.
As the diamond comes into a knot of flame
I am Black because I come from the earth's inside
now take my word for jewel in the open light.

Audre Lorde

Democracy will not come
Today, this year
Nor ever
Through compromise and fear.

I have as much right
As the other fellow has
To stand
On my two feet
And own the land.

I tire so of hearing people say,
Let things take their course.
Tomorrow is another day.
I do not need my freedom when I'm dead.
I cannot live on tomorrow's bread.

Is a strong seed
In a great need.

I live here, too.
I want freedom
Just as you.

Langston Hughes

He loved her and she loved him.
His kisses sucked out her whole past and future or tried to
He had no other appetite
She bit him she gnawed him she sucked
She wanted him complete inside her
Safe and sure forever and ever
Their little cries fluttered into the curtains

Her eyes wanted nothing to get away
Her looks nailed down his hands his wrists his elbows
He gripped her hard so that life
Should not drag her from that moment
He wanted all future to cease
He wanted to topple with his arms round her
Off that moment's brink and into nothing
Or everlasting or whatever there was

Her embrace was an immense press
To print him into her bones
His smiles were the garrets of a fairy palace
Where the real world would never come
Her smiles were spider bites
So he would lie still till she felt hungry
His words were occupying armies
Her laughs were an assassin's attempts
His looks were bullets daggers of revenge
His glances were ghosts in the corner with horrible secrets
His whispers were whips and jackboots
Her kisses were lawyers steadily writing
His caresses were the last hooks of a castaway
Her love-tricks were the grinding of locks
And their deep cries crawled over the floors
Like an animal dragging a great trap
His promises were the surgeon's gag
Her promises took the top off his skull
She would get a brooch made of it
His vows pulled out all her sinews
He showed her how to make a love-knot
Her vows put his eyes in formalin
At the back of her secret drawer
Their screams stuck in the wall

Their heads fell apart into sleep like the two halves
Of a lopped melon, but love is hard to stop

In their entwined sleep they exchanged arms and legs
In their dreams their brains took each other hostage

In the morning they wore each other's face

Ted Hughes

A Negro Love SongSeen my lady home las' night,
Jump back, honey, jump back.
Hel' huh han' an' sque'z it tight,
Jump back, honey, jump back.
Hyeahd huh sigh a little sigh,
Seen a light gleam f'om huh eye,
An' a smile go flittin' by --
Jump back, honey, jump back.
Hyeahd de win' blow thoo de pine,
Jump back, honey, jump back.
Mockin'-bird was singin' fine,
Jump back, honey, jump back.
An' my hea't was beatin' so,
When I reached my lady's do',
Dat I could n't ba' to go --
Jump back, honey, jump back.

Put my ahm aroun' huh wais',
Jump back, honey, jump back.
Raised huh lips an' took a tase,
Jump back, honey, jump back.
Love me, honey, love me true?
Love me well ez I love you?
An' she answe'd, "'Cose I do"--
Jump back, honey, jump back.

Paul Laurence Dunbar

Too right
A cunt
For treating you like shit
And tomorrow too

David Harkins

Bitch I Remember
In the peace you finally bring me, bitch I still remember how I got here. I had him. You took him. I wanted what we had back. I remember lying in bed one night calling myself incomplete for letting him come to you, Bitch.
Then you put him down and he doubled over in pain, asking me to help. How baby? Find her please he cried. She's the only thing can stop my pain now, that Bitch.
I went looking for you. You remember? Brought you back to my house for my man to make him well - Miss Bitch. I didn't want you, but I needed to know what made him love you, need you so much.
Now as we work together to keep you, I don't need him at all. Yeah - Bitch I remember!

Karen Schley

What Are Big Girls Made Of?
The construction of a woman:
a woman is not made of flesh
of bone and sinew
belly and breasts, elbows and liver and toe.
She is manufactured like a sports sedan.
She is retooled, refitted and redesigned
every decade.
Cecile had been seduction itself in college.
She wriggled through bars like a satin eel,
her hips and ass promising, her mouth pursed
in the dark red lipstick of desire.

She visited in '68 still wearing skirts
tight to the knees, dark red lipstick,
while I danced through Manhattan in mini skirt,
lipstick pale as apricot milk,
hair loose as a horse's mane. Oh dear,
I thought in my superiority of the moment,
whatever has happened to poor Cecile?
She was out of fashion, out of the game,
disqualified, disdained, dis-
membered from the club of desire.

Look at pictures in French fashion
magazines of the 18th century:
century of the ultimate lady
fantasy wrought of silk and corseting.
Paniers bring her hips out three feet
each way, while the waist is pinched
and the belly flattened under wood.
The breasts are stuffed up and out
offered like apples in a bowl.
The tiny foot is encased in a slipper
never meant for walking.
On top is a grandiose headache:
hair like a museum piece, daily
ornamented with ribbons, vases,
grottoes, mountains, frigates in full
sail, balloons, baboons, the fancy
of a hairdresser turned loose.
The hats were rococo wedding cakes
that would dim the Las Vegas strip.
Here is a woman forced into shape
rigid exoskeleton torturing flesh:
a woman made of pain.

How superior we are now: see the modern woman
thin as a blade of scissors.
She runs on a treadmill every morning,
fits herself into machines of weights
and pulleys to heave and grunt,
an image in her mind she can never
approximate, a body of rosy
glass that never wrinkles,
never grows, never fades. She
sits at the table closing her eyes to food
hungry, always hungry:
a woman made of pain.

A cat or dog approaches another,
they sniff noses. They sniff asses.
They bristle or lick. They fall
in love as often as we do,
as passionately. But they fall
in love or lust with furry flesh,
not hoop skirts or push up bras
rib removal or liposuction.
It is not for male or female dogs
that poodles are clipped
to topiary hedges.

If only we could like each other raw.
If only we could love ourselves
like healthy babies burbling in our arms.
If only we were not programmed and reprogrammed
to need what is sold us.
Why should we want to live inside ads?
Why should we want to scourge our softness
to straight lines like a Mondrian painting?
Why should we punish each other with scorn
as if to have a large ass
were worse than being greedy or mean?

When will women not be compelled
to view their bodies as science projects,
gardens to be weeded,
dogs to be trained?
When will a woman cease
to be made of pain?

Marge Piercy

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Dorothy Parker

Sex Goddess
so don't mess with me
I've got a big bag full of SEX TOYS
and you can't have any
'cause they're all mine
'cause I'm

Maggie Estep

Ages And Ages, Returning At Intervals
AGES and ages, returning at intervals,
Undestroy'd, wandering immortal,
Lusty, phallic, with the potent original loins, perfectly sweet,
I, chanter of Adamic songs,
Through the new garden, the West, the great cities calling,
Deliriate, thus prelude what is generated, offering these, offering
Bathing myself, bathing my songs in Sex,
Offspring of my loins
Walt Whitman

Til Death Do Us Part
She wished upon angels, seduced her dream
Among us derelicts, she blossomed first
At 19 she won her coveted king.
A man of importance, wealth and worth
Such passion love, as an eagle it flew
As we remained wretches, jealous and green
With crystallized smiles they exchanged “I do’s”
True idols of the American dream
She wore the sweet title of “doctors wife”
While arresting each envious eye
Then he carved her up with a cutlery knife
Robbed of her royalty, she died
He said she had left her womanly sphere
Her love slept in jail for less than a year

Vadergrrrl 1997

Come in a shapes and sizes
Styles and fits

Some say a birdcage
Entraps us all
Bell Jar World

Cages hold my friends
Captive from my arms
I don’t understand this war
Against our people

Vadergrrrl 2001

I love this….
Like cheap vodka
Seducing my tongue
I indulge
Sweat and salt
Skin divine
Crashing like the waves
We connect
Rise and fall
Hell’s heat
Heavens reward..
I take you in
Momentary paradise….

-vadergrrrl 7/04

The Challenge….. Can you name the author? (hint… think 80’s)

I'd say love was a magical thing
I'd say love would keep us from pain
Had I been there, had I been there

I would promise you all of my life
But to lose you would cut like a knife
So I don't dare, no I don't dare

'Cause I've never come close in all of these years
You are the only one to stop my tears
And I'm so scared, I'm so scared

Take me back in time maybe I can forget
Turn a different corner and we never would have met
Would you care

I don't understand it, for you it's a breeze
Little by little you've brought me to my knees
Don't you care

No I've never come close in all of these years
You are the only one to stop my tears
I'm so scared of this love

And if all that there is, is this fear of being used
I should go back to being lonely and confused
If I could, I would, I swear

Nite Y'All ---

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