REPOST From 12/2/04
I’m so happy ’cause today
I’ve fought some demons ...
They’re in my head
I’m so ugly, but that’s okay, ’cause so are you ...
We’ve broken our mirrors
Monday morning is everyday for all I care ...
And I’m not scared
Light my bubbler, in a daze
’cause I’ve found god
I’m so lonely but that’s okay, I colored my hair ...
It’s flaming RED
And just maybe I’m to blame for all I’ve heard ...
But I’m not sure
I’m so excited, I can’t wait to meet you there ...
But I don’t care
I’m so horny, but that’s okay ...
Boytoy’s feel GOOD
I like it - I’m not gonna crack
I miss you - I’m not gonna crack
I love you - I’m not gonna crack
I killed you - I’m not gonna crack
As Eddie Vedder once said “I’m still alive”. Sometimes Im the walking dead Tim Robbins style. Other times Im as happy and perky as a sick and twisted John Huges film. Mostly Im numb and overwhelmed by all the shit I must do. Its easier to run and hide, then climb my mountain of tasks. With time running out, my short-timer syndrome has culminated completely.
Due to recent “black ass” bouts, my Celexa doubled dosed. This should keep me sane through the holidaze and move. Like fellow Pisces, depressed artist and Warshingtonian, Kurt Kobain said so well “I’m not gonna crack”. Unlike him, I wont go killing myself. Its something I think about, but the love of my child will always keep me going. Suicide is the most selfish of solutions.
Thanks again for your comments and support. My blog has been acting crazy from all the photos. I can’t open any links, and I doubt you guys can too. Sorry about that. I think of you all often, and send you love. I promise to come a visiting you soon. (hopefully tonight)
That terrible mood of depression of whether it's any good or not is what is known as The Artist's Reward.
This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this
"The mark of an immature man is that he would die knobly for a cause. The mark of a mature man is that he would live humbly for one" - Catcher in the Rye -WARNING WRITER SPELLING CHALLENGED! But Sometimes you have to say "what the fuck!"
Monday, November 10, 2008
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