"The mark of an immature man is that he would die knobly for a cause. The mark of a mature man is that he would live humbly for one" - Catcher in the Rye -WARNING WRITER SPELLING CHALLENGED! But Sometimes you have to say "what the fuck!"

Monday, December 06, 2004

True Freaky Tales of a Slutty, Dirty Whore

Slut Tales
Nothing like a good slutty post to detract from my previous crazy and depressed rantings. They always say, crazy girls are good in bed. I find sex to be the BEST anti-depressant in the world. I LOVE SEX, and I can go for hours. I especially love porn/sex-athons, where my lover and I will spend all day watching porn and having sex. I think the most times I have had sex in one day is 11. When Im in a relationship, I like to have sex at least 3 times a day. I guess Im somewhat of a nymphomaniac.

Sexin the World
My last boyfriend was so obsessed and consumed with my love of sex, he became a crazy jealous psycho. He assumed that since I loved sex so much, I must be having sex with the world. The truth is, Im very monogomous. I don’t believe in lying, and if I want to fuck someone else while in a commited relationship, I will just be honest and say so. What good does lying and sneaking around do?

I heart Sex….and Hard Cocks!
I love oral sex, I love anal sex, I love sex toys, Im multi orgasmic, and I LOVE TO PLEASE. I love the taste and feel of a hard cock. Masturbation is great, but the feel of a hard cock is the best treat on earth. I love the salty taste of cum, I love when guys cum in my mouth, on my tits, in my face. I just fucking LOVE IT ALL.

Here are some quizes, for some Monday Fun.

How Porn are you?

Vader scored 150%
sex god/goddess


Here is another quiz I got from Chaz who got it from avatar

1. Copy this whole list into your journal/blog.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold is false.

PART I

01. I've had sex in the past five minutes.
02. I enjoy oral sex.
03. I scream loudly during sex.
04. I love sleeping with more than two people.
05. I own at least two books about sex.
06. I've peeked into the locker room of the opposite sex.
07. I have taken money for sex.
08. I've had sex while under the influence of a controlled substance. (several)
09. I've been in porn movies. (home ones)
10. I have been the odd person in a threesome.
11. I have published the sexual exploits of a past relationship without telling my ex.
12. I have lied to a lover about having an affair.
13. I have more than ten tattoos.
14. I like and Respect Jenna Jameson.
15. I like slow sex.
16. I have learned a lot sexually over the past year.
17. I have a sexual fantasy about another blogger.
18. I've been told I'm a great lover.
19. I carry a condom at all times.
20. I'm interested in trying suspension.
21. I've broken a bone while having sex.
22. I have had a wet dream that I am ashamed to reveal.
23. I have had sex in the rain.
24. I have had sex while someone else watched.
25. I would get plastic surgery if it would improve my sex life.
26. I want to fuck right now! (always)
27. I like to play with food.
28. I like sex that's hard and fast. ALWAYS
29. I always brush my teeth after sex.
30. I shave my pubic hair.
31. I have traveled out of town to have sex.
32. I have fantasized about having sex with my brother-/sister-in-law. (ew.)
33. I have had sex with a person from a country other than my own.
34. I dress to look sexy every day.
35. I have had sex with twins.
36. I have had sex with someone I met over the internet. (who hasn't?)
37. I have more than ten sex toys.
38. I like the way I look naked.
39. I have lied to get a person to have sex with me.
40. I change from one sex position to another in a specific order each time.
41. I saw my parents having sex.
42. I get cable just for the soft porn. (SPICE CHANNEL SUXS)
43. I think legalized prostitution can reduce some crime.
44. I have a list of people I would like to see naked.
45. I am regularly tested for STDs.
46. I am one kinky bitch.
47. I'm always hungry after sex.
48. I enjoy phone sex.
49. I have been arrested for being naked in public.
50. I have had sloppy drunk sex with a stranger.

PART II

1. I have, either currently or in the past, gone over a year without sex. (Does under 17 count?)
2. I have a partially used tube of KY Jelly close to my bed.
3. I sometimes buy clothes specifically to turn people on. (corsets, high heels, fishnets, you name it)
4. I sleep with my socks on.
5. I have gotten someone drunk on purpose.
6. I set aside some time (almost) each day to surf porn online.
7. There are nude pictures of me somewhere on the Internet.
8. My family would FREAK if they read this list.
9. I can orgasm on command.
10. I have had sex standing up.
11. I have leather in my closet and I'm not afraid to wear it.
12. Given the opportunity, I would have sex with a porn star.
13. I know someone who needs a copy of "Sex for Dummies."
14. There is at least one extended family member (cousin, aunt, etc.) I would jump if we weren't related. (ew.)
15. I think hose are sexy.
16. I think limited nudity should be allowed on television after 10:00 at night.
17. I like ribbed condoms.
18. I am pierced somewhere other than my ears or navel.
19. I have had sex in the shower.
20. My parents caught me having sex.
21. My child(ren) caught me masturbating.
22. Watching other people have sex turns me on.
23. I own more than ten porn tapes/DVDs.
24. I have used a vegetable as a sex toy.
25. I enjoy reading erotic literature.
26. I can get wet/hard just by the sound of someone's voice.
27. I have used a sex swing.
28. I have employed the services of a professional sex worker.
29. I have a membership on at least one adult pay site.
30. I would give up another habit (smoking, drinking, over-eating) if it meant having more sex. (in a heartbeat)
31. I would consider hiring someone to teach me about the finer points of sex.
32. Given the opportunity, I would appear in an adult magazine.
33. I think reality TV should show who's having sex with whom.
34. I get wet/hard just walking into a Victoria's Secret store.
35. I keep a "Top 5" list of famous people I would like to fuck. (Johnny Depp, Angelina Jolie, Rose McGowan, Slim Shady, Jude Law)
36. I have participated in an orgy. (does a threesome count?)
37. My current sex life is beyond boring.
38. I am actively looking for a new sex partner.
39. I do NOT think having sex always means making a long-term commitment.
40. I have at least one sex toy made of glass.
41. I think anti-pornography laws are too restrictive. (fuck you and your dildo-free ilk, Jerry Falwell)
42. People would be surprised if they knew how often I think about sex.
43. I think 16 is a good age to begin having sex.
44. I have special names for my sex organs.
45. I have used sex to get what I want.
46. I think the world would be a better place if people had sex more often. (make love, not war)
47. I think some public nudity should be legal. (encouraged, even)
48. I have at least one sex toy that is purple.
49. I think a blogger orgy would be ... interesting.
50. Just reading this list makes me horny

Happy Horney MONDAY!

Later Dayz and Better Layz

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