"The mark of an immature man is that he would die knobly for a cause. The mark of a mature man is that he would live humbly for one" - Catcher in the Rye -WARNING WRITER SPELLING CHALLENGED! But Sometimes you have to say "what the fuck!"

Friday, December 17, 2004

Greetings from Vader's Crazy So Called Life

Talking Douglas Firs
Sometimes I feel as if the huge Douglas Fir trees that cover the Pacific Northwest actually communicate with me. When I was a child, I would get the diverse shapes in the long, green and outstretched branches to perform puppet shows of sorts. My mind combined with nature created unlimited magical adventures. Now as an adult, I believe when you see shapes in objects, there is a psychic communication. Faces in clouds, the Virgin Mary in a stone, skulls in your bathroom steamed mirror (that actually happened to me in Oakland). Like Fox Mulder, I think the psychic world communicates to those whose third eye tunes in to those sorts of “groovy” thangs. Recently, as I stare off into the Douglas Fir trees and say goodbye, I sense a familiar conversation. These old trees forever possess a part of my soul and my heart. I here them bid farewell, but also call out for my inevitable return. As I always return home, every few years.

Whirlwind Dime Store Novel Life
Im ambivalent about moving. My last day of work was Wednesday. Good-byes are always hard. But in my case, its more like “Aloha”, a word that both means hello and goodbye. I know I will be back. Sharing personal details of my life like a diary can be quite challenging. Sometimes I opt to distract myself with posts on other things. Other times I feel silly for sharing the whirlwind of my crazy life. But, here goes….I think my meds are working and Im being “compliant” as my shrink says, because I feel good. I feel a sense of release. Im letting go of all my stress, and embarking on a sabbatical, to heal my mind, body and spirit. I lost 13 pounds in 3 weeks, which actually is pretty rapid weight loss. I wasn’t even trying, this was over the holidaze. In the last few months, Ive lost a total of 33 pounds. Im happy with how I look, and really don’t want to go back to bone skinny. I kinda like my C cup perky boobs. I worry that is where I will loose more weight if I continue to lose. But I am eating, Im just busy as all hell. Tomorrow my son “Trey” (his new name after a character in Boyz in da Hood and Menace to Society) is coming to visit me. Im putting his ass to work immediately. Two of his teenage friends are coming with me to get him, and I am making them all move furniture and boxes for a few hours when we get back. I also have some of my hot body male friends coming to help too. Im just moving my things to a local storage unit. Im only taking to Colorado a few books and things. I want to keep my things in storage here, because I believe I will be back within a year.

Christmas and Mental Hospitals
I move on the 29th of December, after the holidays. My brother is coming here, and his girlfriend, as well as my dad and his girlfriend. It should be a nice holiday. My little sister is now in a mental hospital. This is actually a good thing, because they were putting her in juvy, and that is not the best place for a bi-polar teen. I guess she attempted to hang herself with a bed sheet, while in juvy so they sent her for help. I worry about her, and Im sad she is going to be there for Christmas. Im also sad for my son, because I know he was looking forward to spending time with her. Like I say, the holidays are always kinda traumatic. I guess it’s a family tradition.

Another Pussy Tattoo
My gift to myself this year was a new tattoo. I got it last night at Lucky Boy Tattoo Parlor, ran by Nate, a good friend of mine. Nate has been a friend for years, and runs the most amazing tattoo parlor in Kitsap County. (I still have mad love for my other tattoo friends too). Nate appears on this video shot in Bremerton for the PotTV show Rebel Alliance (hosted by me). The video is from late 2000 btw. The “other guy” who tattoos at Lucky Boys, Chris, tattooed a hissing black cat on my shin. Its arched above my pentacle, which was my first tattoo. He re-did the pentacle and made it look more wicked (it was Starhawks Spiral Dance tattoo but it got faded). So now, it’s a cool black cat above my marking of the witch. (positive energy, or white witch of course). I love, love, love the tattoo, and will post photos soon.

Hope To Lavish You All With CyberLove Soon
Im sorry I have been so unavailable. Maybe Im spending too much time talking to the trees and spirits. But I really haven’t had time to be on the computer at all. I predict with the teenager occupation impending that I will have NO time for a bit. Im sure I will be back online after the first of January. I thank you all for reading my blog, being amazing people, and inspiring and encouraging me. I promise to lavish you all with lots of online attention when I get back online Jan 1. Please have a happy holiday and New Year. Will try to check in, until then, but I cant promise much.

(I don’t have time to edit this much. I must start packing boxes and clean. Ignore the typos and errors please. But I guess they are my trademark –wink-)

Hugs
M

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