"The mark of an immature man is that he would die knobly for a cause. The mark of a mature man is that he would live humbly for one" - Catcher in the Rye -WARNING WRITER SPELLING CHALLENGED! But Sometimes you have to say "what the fuck!"

Saturday, October 23, 2004

Detox Halloween Hell


8 more days til Halloween, Halloween, Halloween
8 more days til Halloween
Silver Shamrock


Give Me Wine and Chocolate!(some cheese with the wine would be good too)
Today is my fifth day of detoxing and it fucking sucks! I know after my body is cleansed of all the crap my Hemmingway lifestyle put into it, I will feel great. Almost three years ago, I completed this diet, and I did feel fantastic. I had tons of energy, felt revitalized, quit smoking, and lived a healthy lifestyle for a while. Today I feel like I am coming off heroine or something. I feel achy and tired, with my intestines batteling some fucking alien. This isn’t helped by the fact that I’m on my period and a Pisces. CALGON TAKE ME AWAY

30 Day Mission
Detox dieting can also be called a cleanse. It’s a 30-day diet Im doing with a nutritionist. Here is a quote (I cant site the source now because I currently work for them) about the diet. “The main rationale behind the diet is that these modifications allow your body’s detoxification machinery, which may be overburdened or compromised, to recover and begin to function efficiently again. The dietary changes help the body eliminate or “clear” various toxins that may have accumulated due to environmental exposure, foods, beverages, drugs, alcohol, or cigarette smoking.

Eye of the Tiger Baby
So what you do is this...It’s a 30-day diet, which involves food elimination and fasting. You also take this nutritional detox powder to not only give you protein and other things you need, but also has ingredients to help you cleanse. The entire 30 days you give up all dairy, wheat, alcohol coffee and soda, sugar and chocolate. The first week, you body starts to go in shock from withdrawals from before mentioned. That’s what I feel now. The second week, you start eliminate foods from the diet you are eating. Monday, you eliminate all flesh foods, nuts and seeds. Tuesday you eliminate beans, legumes and oils. Weds you eliminate all grains. Friday you live off fruits, vegetables and powder (and lots of water). The next three days is a total fast…meaning you give up all food, and drink lots of powder and water. Then slowly you introduce food back in the following weeks. This diet takes a lot of will power and determination. I have done it before, and I can do it again.

Annual Halloween Gala and The Real Michael Meyers
Today is also hard because it’s the weekend and my best friend’s family (who I lived with for years and consider family) is hosting the annual Halloween Party. In attendance will be some ex boyfriends, lots of old friends, and a lot of my co-workers. There will be lots of drinking, which this year, I can not do. Last year, I was together with my ex-boyfriend and he dressed as Slash, and totally humiliated me. He carried around this bottle of Jack Daniel’s, and drank the whole thing. It was kinda the beginning of the end, in my mind, so things were already tense. Then he gets totally shitfaced drunk, does stoopid things like fall and break and spill things. He would follow me around like a drunk puppy, and I kept giving him the slip. I saw him kissing and fondling this drunk married old skanky tweeker lady, and talking “threesomes”. I was completely disgusted. I knew that I could no longer be with this guy, from the entire ordeal of that party.

Beem Me Outa Here Scotty
So, here I am going through detox hell, and trying to psyche myself up for this party. I don’t even know what to wear, I’ve already made appearances as the dominatrix, the witch, the car accident dead prom queen. I supposed I could be Vampirella, I really don’t know… I also want to clean my house and color my hair (something red and wild). But then, I really don’t want to move from my fucking house. I want to lay on the couch and wine.

Drama Queen Rants
The computer has even been making me sad lately. I can’t wait for the election to be over with. I’m so hurt and saddened by how viscous this election became, and the mean and hatefull words. Yeah, so I’m in full on drama queen “poor me” mode. Like this I’m supposed to go to a PARTY? Did I mention Halloween is my favorite holiday? Being on this diet means… no Halloween candy. *Vader shakes fist at the sky* Fuck you cruel world.

well I live with snakes and lizards
and other things that go bump in the night
cos to me everyday is halloween
I have given up hiding and started to fight
I have started to fight

well any time, any place, anywhere that I go
all the people seem to stop and stare
they say 'why are you dressed like it's halloween?
you look so absurd, you look so obscene'

o, why can't I live a life for me?
why should I take the abuse that's served?
why can't they see they're just like me
it's the same, it's the same in the whole wide world

well I let their teeny minds think
that they're dealing with someone who is over the brink
and I dress this way just to keep them at bay
cos halloween is everyday
it's everyday

o, why can't I live a life for me?
why should I take the abuse that's served?
why can't they see they're just like me
it's the same, it's the same in the whole wide world

o, why can't I live a life for me?
why should I take the abuse that's served?
why can't they see they're just like me
i'm not the one that's so absurd

why hide it?
why fight it?
hurt feelings
best to stop feeling hurt
from denials, reprisals
it's the same it's the same in the whole wide world

-Halloween by Ministry

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