What is it like to work for corporate America? How many of us sit from our computers and surf the web while at work? How many of us hate our jobs, wish for something more, get paid peanuts, and live by the daily mantra “life is not fair”?
Well hells bells join the friggin club. My job is no picnic, though I do get to sit at a keyboard all day and secretly surf the web.
Its funny all the characters you will meet on the job. Wherever the job, there are always the same cast of characters (the names change however).
Here is a current cast of characters that I work with (names will be changed to avoid lawsuits)
Gina- the company kiss ass. Dress code very low cut shirts, tight pants. Typically found bending over the boss’s desk giggling. Despite lack of brain cells, “works” her way into lucrative management position. Conversation with her always involve her spreading the newest rumor about herself “did you hear the new one, I gave the boss a blow job in the parking lot”.
Betsy –executive assistant, mother hen and office busy body. This one always rubs me the wrong way, she is in everyone’s business spreading rumors and telling on people to HR. Considers herself an “executive” even though she is still a secretary. Will take 2 hour lunches daily, and then tell on you to your supervisor if you are 10 mins late coming back from yours. This woman makes my life HELL.
Dan – the lab geek, computer nerd. Tall, lanky, with glasses, and Izod polo shirts. Looks like he should wear a pen protector, but states he is a little to hip for that extremity. Loves Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, and playing computer games from work when no one is looking. Eats PB&J sandwiches for lunch everyday. This guy is fun to goof around with, but is in somewhat fear and curiosity by your tattoos and/or piercing.
Paul – the nutty professor. Hair reminiscent of Albert Einstein, he does wear a pocket protector, glasses, and a plaid short sleeve shirt. Has a PhD but still is paid a college student salary. He seems lost in the world of knowledge, his dialect sometimes hard to ascertain. Social skills definitely need improvement, but if you take the time to talk to him, he is quite an interesting person. The big shocker…. He is actually married.
Lanna – the permanent office help. Yes she always worked here, and she will remind you of that daily. She housesits for the big boss, knows his family well, and has one of those jobs with no real title or definition of duties. She is heavy set, but loves to eat (you will find her snacking throughout the day), and she is also allowed to play solitaire from her computer desk. She is also a busybody gossip that hangs with the executive assistant and watches your every step with a judgmental glare.
Lisa – the overqualified receptionist. Lisa has a PhD in Music and sings opera on the side. She handles herself with grace and finesse, though she is way to overqualified and underpaid to be a receptionist. She gives credence to the fact that one should never get a degree in the arts.
Larry – Butt Kissing Brown Noser. This guy was recently promoted to supervisor. He is a snidely little fellow, only 22, who has cultivated the art of ass kissing. You will always find him walking behind the boss, whispering names of fellow employees who have said something out of line, and should be on the “shit list”. Backstabbing, conniving, this guy can not be trusted. Before he was supervisor, I saw him snorting lines at a party, once promoted he stopped going to company “parties” for the reason “I don’t want to see anything I shouldn’t”. Im sure he has incriminated many in his rise to power.
This is all I have for now. Will add more characters later. Do you recognize anybody? They are everywhere……